http://www.demaderafurniture.com

http://www.newboatdocks.com

Inviting Arkansas - Index

Inviting Arkansas - invitingarkansas - Index

7.19.sat, 7.20.sun
Down-Home, Inside Fish Fry
and Show
To benefit Wildwood
for the Arts
501.821.727
6pm
7.24.thurs
Y Not have A Ball
Celebrating 60 years
of Cotillion
Bess Chisum Stephens
YWCA Ballroom
501.804.6686
on, don’t be shy, who are you?
7.10.
thurs
Coming in August
The Allen School
Dreams Need Room to Grow
Fundraiser
August 14
Governor’s Mansion
7.19.
sat
7.24.
thurs
Dear Curious,
Thank you for writing, and maybe there is some merit to your position. A reason I have chosen
to be unknown is that I feel who I am is really unimportant. You are quite right; I am neither
ashamed of myself, nor embarrassed about my qualifications. You may have noticed that we
never reveal the names of our inquirers. The whole spirit of this undertaking is simply to provide
a lighthearted commentary on people’s concerns while sharing an occasional nugget that might be
useful. In my experience, people seem to have a greater willingness to air it out when there is no
fear of seeming “silly” to others. Thus far, this approach has worked fairly well. As to whether or
not people have a right to know, my position is this: a right sounds real serious. Far more serious
than a friendly column deserves. We have a bill of rights in this country, and best I recall, there
was no mention of Ask Granddad in those writings. Please just enjoy me--take me or leave me-
-and respect my “right” to privacy, as I do yours.
Dear Granddad,
I think I have a drinking problem. Sometimes I handle it well, other times not. It seems
one drink calls for another, then another, then suddenly an otherwise perfect gentleman
becomes another personality. Things are said and done I would never say or do.
This doesn’t always happen, but often enough that I have begun to worry. Two times
recently, I have had total blackouts. Been up and about - but not remember what I may
have done. The thing that makes me angriest is that many of my friends don’t have this
problem, which minimizes their understanding of me. Should I let this play out a while
longer to see if I can maintain control?
Dear Bewildered,
When we started this part of the magazine, we ran a disclaimer stating that I am not a medical
professional, nor do I have any training as a mental health counselor. You have, however,
broached a subject with which I have personal experience that I’m happy to share with you.
Keep in mind that my thoughts are merely a summary of my own battle. In my opinion, you
have taken an important step by realizing you may have a problem. We learn that alcohol has
a mysterious component that has no predictable pattern with every drinker. Some take or leave
it; some enjoy an occasional drink or two; some drink to forget; some drink to pretend they are
adult; some become seriously addicted. I cannot tell you that you are addicted. That is something
you have to learn for yourself. A way of making this determination is to decide you won’t drink
for a prescribed period. Make it quite a while, not just a week or two. During this period, live
normally. Don’t seclude yourself. Expose yourself to all the situations where you have enjoyed
drinking, but see if you can abstain. When others ask, which some insist on doing, simply say
you are conducting a test. Should they pry rudely, and some will, just say “I’m losing some
weight;” you won’t be lying as doing without alcohol will generally decrease your caloric intake.
When this period is past, assuming you were successful, ask yourself the reason you need to start
to drink again. Try to be real honest here as to the reason. If there is no good reason to re-start,
but you do, then I think you may need some help. That help can come in many forms: a friend
with a similar problem, a minister if you are a part of some organized religion, a family member
or spouse- just someone with whom you can bare your soul and feel confident they will respect
your need for privacy. Should this fail, I strongly urge you to seek professional counseling, and be
open to that person’s prescription. Good luck, and God’s speed. You are not alone.
45
Inviting Arkansas